11.29.06
the war behind closed doors
The world, as always, has been a pretty depressing place. Newspaper headlines everyday scream the most shockingly unbelievable facts about how sick and sad the state of humankind is. Thousands of Iraqi innocents died just last month thanks to one man’s “commitment” to finishing his “mission”. Millions are dying in Africa thanks to malnutrition, civil war, disease and a whole lot of other things that would make the good ole’ fire and brimstone seem like a beach resort. Just recently, in Toronto, a mother of four in her twenties killed her own month-old child - by placing the baby in a microwave and pressing “cook”.
And of course we have the nobler things to worry about. Like freedom of the Iraqi people. Does this look like “democracy” to you? And ooh, how about the scary lack of “democracy” in China and their breach of “human rights”? Now
that’s something to get riled up about, isn’t it? (By the way this little piece here sums up what I think about this issue.)Yeah, there are tons of things that are happening in the world today which seem urgent, depressing, sad, infuriating, maddening, and the like. I’m sure they are worthy causes for our time, effort and money - donating to organizations that fund children’s health programs, raising funds for a new church or community centre, or heck, even taking a year or two to fly off to some country languishing in poverty with Doctors Without Borders to go be a modern-day Apostle.
But you know what, fuck all that right now.
Cut the hypocrisy, because those are issues you have no business putting your time in, if you have your own issues at home to set right. Yes, I’m talking about problems that people deal with at home, and with their families and friends. That doesn’t sound like much compared to fifty thousand innocent dead souls in Iraq, no it doesn’t. But its relevant, and a lot easier to ignore because its a lot easier to care about some faceless dead people rotting in a pit halfway across the world, or some poor Chinese kid who can’t surf whatever site he wants to… than your uncle dying of cancer, or your kids who you pay no attention to every day because you’re too busy killing your brain cells with alcohol.
These are relevant issues. Family issues. Issues that you see, hear, feel, smell - every time you wake up from your bed and walk into your living room. And that’s why these issues are all the more easier to ignore, because it is truly a lot easier to care about someone you really don’t know and won’t care about when he or she gets blown into unidentifiable bits of gore by a stray US mortar or a crazed suicide bomb.
…
Which brings me to my number one pet peeve: guys who abuse their wives, girlfriends and kids… and any women in general.
Now, let’s get this out of the way first. I did an approved psychological test about two months back, which profiles my “Masculinity” on a scale of 7, with 7 being “very masculine” and 0 being “very feminine”. I got seven-point-zero. What this means is not that I’m some Governator who crushes egos with a curl of his biceps, or some hugely bigoted Male Chauvinist Pig. What this really means is that I believe that men and women
aren’t equal. And they aren’t. Men are better at some things (physical tasks like hunting, reaching for the high shelf, etc.) while women are better at others (social tasks like keeping everyone in a team on the same page, empathizing and negotiating and stuff).Now I know this is an over-generalization, but my point is that guys are biologically different from girls. We’re bigger and have more muscles. We are also
blessed with the ability to think with both of our heads. A combination of the two usually results in wars, bar brawls over lost arm-wrestling matches and the like.In many homes, behind many closed doors, however, the
weaker of our male species who do not have the testicular fortitude to challenge other men - be it in terms of wits, muscle, or otherwise - flex their bantam-cock machismo onto the only beings on earth they perceive are weaker than they are.Women. Children.
And the sad thing is, a lot of us men are guilty of this - behind close doors, behind the forced smiles and underneath their Sunday best, how many couples are trapped in a brutal, hopelessly tragic relationship of weakness, dependence and abuse? How many guys out there are guilty of this - of being the filth of our species, the scum of the earth?
…
Yeah, I’m talking to you. So she slept with another guy. You weren’t there for her. You never were, and someone else - not necessarily better, but someone
there for her - came along. You couldn’t take the hit to your pride so you strangled her. Shoved her around. Hit her. Abused her in every unthinkable way - in front of your sick-fuck parents who supported you and called her names. You are lucky you’re not in my time zone right now, but it won’t be long.You too. You who couldn’t deal with her breaking up with you and your little insecurities, and started verbally abusing her right in the middle of a packed subway train. You who tower a good foot over her - is that all you’ve got? The balls to take on a sweet, pretty girl a foot shorter?
…
And you before I forget,
you.You insecure, clever little dog. More bark than bite - and I hear that’s only when you’ve had one too many. You sweet-talking, flattering, filter feeding cowardly rat. I’d accuse you of not using your brain - and using your
other head to think, but then I’d acknowledge the existence of your gonads, which I highly doubt exist.I guess you
did come from a tough neighbourhood. One where you had to defend yourself against girls four to five years your junior. Those girls from your ‘hood must be tough, right?Because hey, you sure impressed me with your strength right there - how readily you and your ruddy red pride
rose to the occasion, not hesitating an eye-blink to come to blows with a girl half your size.It didn’t take much too - just her yelling at you - for you to scream back and raise your fists in defence; otherwise, I’m sure that little girl would have hurt you plenty! So you shouted back and started swinging your fists around. Like any little, little man of your feeble ilk would.
And you if
dare do this to some girl you barely know, what’s to stop you from abusing people in your household - people you can get away with abusing, physically, emotionally, or otherwise? I pity and send my condolences to your poor mother.I feel ashamed of you. Sick to the fibres of my being for you - you and the rest of the filth who knowingly abuse people who are weaker. I actually take back my own first insult - to say you are a dog, to say you are subhuman, to say you are a mere beast would be a blasphemy to many a noble creature of animal kingdom.
Because you aren’t worse than a human being. Unfortunately, you are one. One who represents the very worst of what we’ve always been. One who pretends to be greater than what he is, but in truth, is nothing more than a waste of oxygen.
…
But hey. Contrary to how I might sound, I don’t
hate you. Because that’d be too good for you, because it would mean that I harboured immense ill-will toward you as a person, as an entity. But don’t worry, because I don’t!Because there are things that exist that are foul, loathsome, freakish aberrations of nature that cause great harm - but don’t
elicit hate. The AIDS virus. Malaria-spreading mosquitoes. Cancer. Birth disorders. Kevin Federline.So fret not - there’s no ill will toward you, no grudge at all. I don’t hate you and am not angry at you.
I just
despise you - from the second I saw you raise a fist against a woman who wouldn’t have the slightest chance of defending herself against you.You’re a disease.
I hope we one day find a cure for you. Soon.