basketball. dribbling. its like dancing.
its all about rythm and footwork, letting yourself loose and being creative, not being afraid to try new shit out.

ronaldinho, you’re an angel.
dribbling = dancing!!!

well. thats it then: im done with ns, or rather, im done with everything i have had to clear in my two and a half years.

im done with IPPT and SOC – clocking my best scores and timings EVER for each of them, truly a miracle considering im an ORD-ing snail, and even more unbelievable to myself since i take my time jogging reaaaaaaal slow every single damned brigade run.

amazing, isnt it. how fast time flies when youre here in the army; weekend by weekend, bookouts and bookins… time really, really flies. oh well. time to enjoy my last couple months here in green: swimming, basketball, playstation and reading. not in that order of course. but these’re my new uh, passions. haha!

feel that have reached a new level of zen stability and self-reliance; i know im always, *always* saying this but i really feel different lately.

for one, ive spent a hell of a lot of time just sitting somewhere reading a book and just lazing back, people watching, contemplating my book (which currently is jostein gardner’s sophie’s world, so that means im contemplating cheem-ass existencial shit), sipping iced tea. just stepping back from stuff, yknowwhatimsayin?

ya see, it dont matter where i am – usually in serangoon gardens – but ill be sitting there, in a coffee shop or ice cream joint or coffee bean or anywhere, and ill be alone reading…

but i dont feel alone, lonely-alone anymore. at all. i dont feel alone when im at home chilling, dont feel alone sitting in my bunk reading when everyone’s out of camp or at the mess drinking themselves silly.

i guess somehow, at some point late last year, probably while i was in australia being very, very away from everyone who mattered, i learnt to be alone. while not being lonely. and in the mean time i made a load of really amazing friends in australia, good people from other units, and learnt a lot from a couple of senior officers’ experience and stories.

hence the new zen-ness. somehow im truly happier now than ive been in… longer than i remember. ever, i think. gone are the days where i lay on the floor of my living room, too tired from training to go out, too lazy to call anyone out, just rotting in my seclusion and loneliness and marinating horrendously negative dormant energies.

right now im buddha sittin under his banyan tree, jesus standing on the water talkin to his slack-jawed disciples. im loki laughing his way to oblivion on ragnarok. in other words, for the most part, im zen. the motherfucking s t a t u s q u o. haha im probably hopelessly insane-sounding, right now, too.

pause this shit ima be back later i think.